Party -- Family Style

There's nothing like a good party. And last night's affair was nothing like a good party. Just kidding, I had to use some Mary Poppins just to keep things light. Last night was great. Almost everyone was there. Den, Laura, Deb, Me, Mar, Dee, My, (no chris - home with sick kids), Brandon (host) and Marci (hostess and most excellent guac salsa maker). Den and I arrived late so we missed Olivia opening the water spigot and flooding the floor. Her solution was great, though, as she described putting her fingers in the two spewing holes until cousin Josh helped her get control of the situation but not until the floor was Lake Powell. Sorry about the mud Marci.

An enjoyable part of the evening (besides making fun of debi-as-medical-patient) was taking a cursory journey through the life of Marlo. He will be attending a business function in which he and his coleagues will exchange little-known fun facts about each other annonymously and attempt to guess who experienced what. Sounds fun. However, in talking about Mar and his life, we discovered two things: first, most all of the memorable events were in some way devious and therefore obvious (so not so great for the coleague party game) and B, it is very fun diving into the past with brothers and sisters and mom in the room.

Debi got Marlo going on a fabulous story involving a baseball game, intestinal distress, and a load of leaves. Mar participated in a baseball league where he was a pitcher for a couple of years. I think it was called Roy Hobbs. Anyway, he arrived for a particular game and found early that he needed to use the facilities prior to his first pitch. However, the bathrooms were locked. My solution to this would be to leave a present directly outside the door of the locked bathroom in protest of them being locked in the first place. Since he was unable to relieve his condition, he decided he would tough it out.

Equally as great as the story was Debi's ability to draw Marlo into acting out the tale (tail?). He got into it as he recounted each inning, the sloshy gut juice, and the additional sphincter focus required to keep said juice contained. Finally, in the fifth inning, after pacing around each inning, (and the teller pacing around the kitchen during the story), he retired the side and casually made his way to a patch of grass near the field with a big tree. He pressed against the tree, dropped trou, and let out a stream of relief. Relief became releaf. With no paper to cleasne with, he followed the example of several dog-pets we had and dragged his butt along the ground on the soft green grass until clean. That evening, while stripping off his baseball pants, Dee noticed a few leaves dropping to the carpet. As he rolled his pants down he discovered that he had inadvertently gathered a pile of leaves and trapped them in his pants in his haste to get back to the game.

Unfortunately, we were unable to talk him into using this story for the party. Oh well.

Bego

I have coined a new name for the arrogance displayed in the Rose Bowl last night. The boys of USC displayed ego far and away exceeding anything I have ever seen. They were the better team. They had the better game plan. With 2 minutes left they even had the game sewn up. But could they humble themselves enough to do it? No. A punt and some defense would have won it. Respecting the other team on at least 2 occasions would have won it. They had the ability, the talent, and the skill to be able to win the game but they lacked one thing that could have won #35 in a row for them -- BEGO. This stands for big ego but it is more than just that. I watched the game on a big screen TV and their collective egos would not fit on it.

Case in point:

1. Opening kick-off - Reggie Bush returns the ball from 5 yards deep in the endzone. To the twelve.
2. Reggie Bush's hair-brained lateral after a great catch and gain. May we point out that there aren't too many running backs that, while being tackled, would consider willingly letting the ball go? Let alone trying to make something out of nothing. Bego.
3. Matt Lienart's forced endzone pass to a closing Texas DB. Really, we should hang this one equally on Matt and Smith, who should have been a little more agressive about getting the ball instead of setting out the basket.
4. Matt Lienart's bone-headed 4th down non-conversions times 2. QB Sneeks are reserved for QB's who can sneek. Matt kinda lumbers. The second try should have been punted. Or passed. But everyone in the North American Continent knew the ball was going to Lindale White. I could have tackled him because I wouldn't have worried about anyone else on the field. He was getting it. No doubt. Bego.
5. Isn't there someone on the USC team assigned to watch the replay and ask for a review. Vince Young was clearly down. The replay showed it. They scored off of it. NOBODY SAW THAT? Seven might have been three.

While I cite several dumb plays, I have to hand it to the boys. They played a great game. They played well enough to win. Even the defense did. The problem is they let their ego, their pride, the invincibility and their lack of respect lose the game for them. Quite literally. They were the better team. They had the better plan. They made some silly plays in the first half but both teams did. Second half they executed flawlessly. Almost.

Don't get me wrong. I hate both of these teams because they aren't the Devils. I root for teams that are from the Pac-10 first so I wanted SC to win even though I'm glad they didn't. This is a good feeling being conflicted, disappointed, and happy all at the same time.

The Sick and the Afflicted

Debi is not a great patient. She has a tendency to suffer anxiety prior to any doctor visit. Additionally, she has the pleasure of experiencing EVERY side effect known to the medication or procedure she endures. Take this latest one for example. As she read the list of side effects to me I immediately dismissed all of them because the were weird things like flushed face, insomnia, etc. Yup, she has had them all. When she's pregnant she barfs for 9 months. When she has any other medical treatment she is the test case for each and every rare occurance possible. She's unique. She's special. Right?

I am lucky that I am not afflicted with the same problems. I rarely throw up while pregnant. I like visiting doctors mostly because I like people smarter than me. I do have a stiff neck today. I understand now when people are described as a stiff-necked people how they can be so stuck in their ways. They don't want to change because it hurts. It hurts to say yes and it hurts to say no.

Impatient

Debi is having a procedure today that requires her to be sedated. They will stick a needle in her hip and inject her with lidocaine and steroid to see if her hip is really the cause of her pain. If this procedure is successful, she will be relieved from some of the pain for a short time. That means that she can only whine about her right hip and her back, but not her left hip. Good thing, too. She has been in pain for about 2 years but she is such a chicken she can't face the problems.

I talked to Dennis about the next few steps that she should take. She has to be OK with treatment and want to be relieved of pain before she can do this. Hip replacement surgery is in her future - about 20 years premature.

Well, today, she was given drugs in preparation for the procedure and one of them made her extremely jittery. She kicked her feet in her waiting chair like Gary Hall, Jr. trying to win the 50-freestyle. She was rather loopy from the drugs but that was great entertainment. Following the procedure she was wheeled to a recovery room and they came and got me. I, meanwhile, had hacked into a wireless network closeby so I couldn't be bothered with her being all done and stuff. I helped her get dressed and they wheeled her out to the parking lot where I almost ran over her with the car. Not what you are thinking. I was trying to get it close so she didn't have to walk far.

The hip is numb and therefore feels much better. This is actually bad news because that means that her hip is the problem and the doc says it needs to be replaced. Yuck. So the decisions facing her next will be when to get another injection for the right hip, if to have them replaced, and what to do about the guys who saw her butt hanging out of the gown as she went from waiting area to cutting table. I say flowers...