Listening is an art. Or a science. Or whatever we should label it to make it seem harder or more of a craft than it is. It seems to be particularly important to the ladies. I get that. They want to be heard. I want to listen. It just isn't that simple. I guess I'm not an artist. Or a scientist. It's not that I'm flexing my anti-listening muscles! Think of it more in terms of being in 'listen neutral.'
I can hear, but to engage focus and actually process that which is being heard takes action. More than likely what you are saying is interesting to me. That alone doesn't shift my listening into drive. My smokin' hot wife says she can SEE when I'm listening. Great! Now I can't even pretend... The other day SHW actually watched me as I was working on a project on the computer. As she told me a story I would periodically look her way. After a while, she informed me that she could actually see it on my face - the 'listening' would kick in. I was told in 3rd grade that focusing so hard on [whatever - then it was reading a book] demonstrates a keen ability to concentrate.
This is now, however, seen as a weakness - the inability to 'multitask.' Oh well, can't win.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Fission Police
Fashion? Fission? Fusion? Who knows?
The fashion-police pukes are at it again: My smokin' hot wife bought a brown old-school wool sweater-vest with great texture. One of the pukes who periodically wonders our house claiming to be our daughter's friend said that it looks like it's made of eyebrows. Pretty funny - especially for a formerly welcome puke. (Definition: puke = male teenager whose life expectancy drops as he enters my house)The puke had occasion to be in my house answering my daughter - she asked him to Winter Formal. He filled her room with balloons. She had to pop them all to find the one with his pic inside that had a cartoon balloon over his head saying, "Yes." Not bad considering how long it takes to fill balloons. With hot air. Puke air.
I don't mind that my girls have experience with boys. I just know what they are thinking and I know how little control they have over their thoughts and feelings. They barely understand them. And the testosterone pounds so loudly in their ears as to drown out any possibility of emerging from non-pukehood. They won't be able to surface from their brains being awash with hormones for several years.
Kinda makes you feel sorry for them, doesn't it? Like a rat, caught in a trap.
The fashion-police pukes are at it again: My smokin' hot wife bought a brown old-school wool sweater-vest with great texture. One of the pukes who periodically wonders our house claiming to be our daughter's friend said that it looks like it's made of eyebrows. Pretty funny - especially for a formerly welcome puke. (Definition: puke = male teenager whose life expectancy drops as he enters my house)The puke had occasion to be in my house answering my daughter - she asked him to Winter Formal. He filled her room with balloons. She had to pop them all to find the one with his pic inside that had a cartoon balloon over his head saying, "Yes." Not bad considering how long it takes to fill balloons. With hot air. Puke air.
I don't mind that my girls have experience with boys. I just know what they are thinking and I know how little control they have over their thoughts and feelings. They barely understand them. And the testosterone pounds so loudly in their ears as to drown out any possibility of emerging from non-pukehood. They won't be able to surface from their brains being awash with hormones for several years.
Kinda makes you feel sorry for them, doesn't it? Like a rat, caught in a trap.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Or
Static at first, then it tunes in.
Country?!? Of all the...
If I would have known
would it change my choice?
I already counted back
seems I got too far.
Should I be able to hear?
Clinking. A woman's voice.
Not the master. Stronger.
Sounds official but
why can I hear.
It's a given, I know.
That and smell.
Both are gifts
I wish were taken.
Scratching, cutting, scraping.
Should have chewed them off.
Can't scream, growl, or whimper.
Why can I hear?
Not the Country, the cutting.
And the laughing.
No sensation of cold
yet I feel chill.
I sensed his confidence.
That's why I didn't bite.
No I'm not so sure.
More cutting, I feel it.
Why can I feel?
I wish it were a dream.
Or nightmare from which
I could wake
and stop feeling
and stop smelling
and stop hearing
This should have been easier.
Status Update
Sorry - never duplicated these here - here they come...
Why do I feel like I need to adopt another language? I have multiple forms of communication at my disposal now but my second language doesn't get used all that often. So, I think I'll take up Spanish or sign language only because this whole blink-once-for-yes-and-twice-for-no thing, while not particularly difficult to learn, is a little limiting.
We spend 1/3 of our lives sleeping. 8 hours in 24. I did the math. So, I was thinking, what if you could do all your sleeping at once. Would you do it? Think of the productivity you could generate the other 2/3 of your life if you could get sleep out of the way. (That would be one NASTY drool pool) If 1/3 is right, then when you woke up you would know when you were going to die: (Days asleep X 2) = Days left. Party!
Great! I just heard that in 2 billion years the oceans will dry up and in 5 billion more years the sun will turn into a Red Giant and 4 pulses later will swallow up the Earth. Don't worry, the sun will eventually shrink to a much smaller size and cool down significantly. To be fair, I knew these things before I just didn't know they would be happening so soon. I'm just not ready yet.
Cold-blooded Carl sits calmly in the cool water waiting. Without really realizing it he looks to his right and to his left and sees tiny bubbles begin to form. His warming surroundings take the chill off his normally clammy green skin. As the bubbles become violent and the ambient temperature soars, Carl cooks. Me? I'm the angel on his little froggy shoulder that should have told him to jump out of the pot sooner.
Have you ever tried to count the number of sounds you can make with your mouth? If not, let me know. I'll come over with my camcorder and you can start exploring. Before my international tour I would never have believed that language and culture bind and restrict your ability to make certain sounds. Tom Brokaw can't say the letter "L" for crying out loud...
Hmmm. Yet another daughter turns 16 - I get closer and closer to having to beat down unsuspecting pukes whose testosterone-laden existence I may have to cut short at any time as a direct result of the thoughts passing through their pea-brain little heads that might as well be broadcast on a diamond-vision sandwich-board strapped around their necks professing their intentions. It's visible.
My dad had a saying for whiners, "You'd complain if you were hung with a new rope." For a tough choice he would say, "It's a case of being shot or hung." As I get older I notice lots of things about me that remind me of my dad. Does this mean all my idioms will deteriorate toward the macabre with rope as the subject matter?
It only takes a second to see if a clock is working.
I have always been curious why in an attempt to dignify, glorify, honor and/or exalt an oncoming guest, the host, MC, or person conducting will put Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss in front of the guest's name. This is the best we can do? "Ladies and gentlemen, without further adieu, we present the one, the only, Misssssster Marilyn Manson!" The Britts do this too - it ain't just us. How does "Mr." adequately reflect status?
Ask a kid to name a pet - you get an enthusiastic list, "Skipper! Squirty! Rascal! Camshaft!" Ask an adult to name a pet - you get, "...hmmm, it has to be a good name. And one that fits. Hmmm, I'll be judged by how cool the name is. I'm worried that it won't learn its name. Fido? Overused. Spot? Ordinary. Sgt. Pepper? Too Beatle-y." I have a friend whose mule's name is Maude. That fits and I've never seen it.
Do I think Facebook will revolutionize human socialization? Not really. Do I think Facebook as a fad will become passé as users seek more fulfilling activities? Maybe. Am I supremely annoyed by people who ask questions and immediately answer themselves in what must be an exercise is succinctness avoidance rather than speaking with conventional clarity? Yup.
Communicators: it is unnecessary when speaking to native English speakers to follow the word 'billion' with the clarifying phrase, "...that's billion with a 'b.'" We are able to discern the 'm' in 'million' and 'z' in 'zillion' as being different from the 'b' in billion. And yes, we're impressed that it is a billion. I
I have decided to start compiling regrets rather than setting goals. The regrets seem to stay with me long after I've given up a goal. My first regret is that I never got the chance to play guitar in an 80's hair band while wearing red pants and riding on the hood of a car in the music video. Sure, I could do it now, but what would be the point?
We often alter what we say to others based on their profession. We conjure a professional filter through which all communication must pass, i.e., Comedian (what I say better be funny), Psychologist (better not reveal too much), Hypnotist (guard against brain control), Professor (gotta sound smart), Dog Catcher (Arf). Too bad I don't cause a more profound filter - it's usually, "Well, I'm computer illiterate so..."
1) Are actors just really believable liars? Do you feel lied-to when you watch an actor who is very convincing? 2) I think the reason people lie is a result of laziness or embarrassment. It is much harder to figure out a creative way to explain the knee injury rather than admit to a freak sofa-related accident. Armchairs can be treacherous.
Picture the situation if the Operators of this Matrix we call life suddenly disengaged the 'car' subroutine causing every vehicle on earth to instantaneously disappear. On any given street, before the skidding, screaming and road rash happened there would be lines of people flying through the air in the sitting position.
Is it the single-most blowhard indicator to refer to oneself in print as "this XXXXXXX" where XXXXXXX is the author's literary title or is it just a strange attempt to avoid using "I" or "me." Example: "It appears to this reporter..." or "...when this writer worked there." My problem is filling in the XXXXXX blank: "this Facebook hack" or "this wisecracking moron" or "this nonsensical wordsmith."
Why do I feel like I need to adopt another language? I have multiple forms of communication at my disposal now but my second language doesn't get used all that often. So, I think I'll take up Spanish or sign language only because this whole blink-once-for-yes-and-twice-for-no thing, while not particularly difficult to learn, is a little limiting.
We spend 1/3 of our lives sleeping. 8 hours in 24. I did the math. So, I was thinking, what if you could do all your sleeping at once. Would you do it? Think of the productivity you could generate the other 2/3 of your life if you could get sleep out of the way. (That would be one NASTY drool pool) If 1/3 is right, then when you woke up you would know when you were going to die: (Days asleep X 2) = Days left. Party!
Great! I just heard that in 2 billion years the oceans will dry up and in 5 billion more years the sun will turn into a Red Giant and 4 pulses later will swallow up the Earth. Don't worry, the sun will eventually shrink to a much smaller size and cool down significantly. To be fair, I knew these things before I just didn't know they would be happening so soon. I'm just not ready yet.
Cold-blooded Carl sits calmly in the cool water waiting. Without really realizing it he looks to his right and to his left and sees tiny bubbles begin to form. His warming surroundings take the chill off his normally clammy green skin. As the bubbles become violent and the ambient temperature soars, Carl cooks. Me? I'm the angel on his little froggy shoulder that should have told him to jump out of the pot sooner.
Have you ever tried to count the number of sounds you can make with your mouth? If not, let me know. I'll come over with my camcorder and you can start exploring. Before my international tour I would never have believed that language and culture bind and restrict your ability to make certain sounds. Tom Brokaw can't say the letter "L" for crying out loud...
Hmmm. Yet another daughter turns 16 - I get closer and closer to having to beat down unsuspecting pukes whose testosterone-laden existence I may have to cut short at any time as a direct result of the thoughts passing through their pea-brain little heads that might as well be broadcast on a diamond-vision sandwich-board strapped around their necks professing their intentions. It's visible.
My dad had a saying for whiners, "You'd complain if you were hung with a new rope." For a tough choice he would say, "It's a case of being shot or hung." As I get older I notice lots of things about me that remind me of my dad. Does this mean all my idioms will deteriorate toward the macabre with rope as the subject matter?
It only takes a second to see if a clock is working.
I have always been curious why in an attempt to dignify, glorify, honor and/or exalt an oncoming guest, the host, MC, or person conducting will put Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss in front of the guest's name. This is the best we can do? "Ladies and gentlemen, without further adieu, we present the one, the only, Misssssster Marilyn Manson!" The Britts do this too - it ain't just us. How does "Mr." adequately reflect status?
Ask a kid to name a pet - you get an enthusiastic list, "Skipper! Squirty! Rascal! Camshaft!" Ask an adult to name a pet - you get, "...hmmm, it has to be a good name. And one that fits. Hmmm, I'll be judged by how cool the name is. I'm worried that it won't learn its name. Fido? Overused. Spot? Ordinary. Sgt. Pepper? Too Beatle-y." I have a friend whose mule's name is Maude. That fits and I've never seen it.
Do I think Facebook will revolutionize human socialization? Not really. Do I think Facebook as a fad will become passé as users seek more fulfilling activities? Maybe. Am I supremely annoyed by people who ask questions and immediately answer themselves in what must be an exercise is succinctness avoidance rather than speaking with conventional clarity? Yup.
Communicators: it is unnecessary when speaking to native English speakers to follow the word 'billion' with the clarifying phrase, "...that's billion with a 'b.'" We are able to discern the 'm' in 'million' and 'z' in 'zillion' as being different from the 'b' in billion. And yes, we're impressed that it is a billion. I
I have decided to start compiling regrets rather than setting goals. The regrets seem to stay with me long after I've given up a goal. My first regret is that I never got the chance to play guitar in an 80's hair band while wearing red pants and riding on the hood of a car in the music video. Sure, I could do it now, but what would be the point?
We often alter what we say to others based on their profession. We conjure a professional filter through which all communication must pass, i.e., Comedian (what I say better be funny), Psychologist (better not reveal too much), Hypnotist (guard against brain control), Professor (gotta sound smart), Dog Catcher (Arf). Too bad I don't cause a more profound filter - it's usually, "Well, I'm computer illiterate so..."
1) Are actors just really believable liars? Do you feel lied-to when you watch an actor who is very convincing? 2) I think the reason people lie is a result of laziness or embarrassment. It is much harder to figure out a creative way to explain the knee injury rather than admit to a freak sofa-related accident. Armchairs can be treacherous.
Picture the situation if the Operators of this Matrix we call life suddenly disengaged the 'car' subroutine causing every vehicle on earth to instantaneously disappear. On any given street, before the skidding, screaming and road rash happened there would be lines of people flying through the air in the sitting position.
Is it the single-most blowhard indicator to refer to oneself in print as "this XXXXXXX" where XXXXXXX is the author's literary title or is it just a strange attempt to avoid using "I" or "me." Example: "It appears to this reporter..." or "...when this writer worked there." My problem is filling in the XXXXXX blank: "this Facebook hack" or "this wisecracking moron" or "this nonsensical wordsmith."
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