Sugar, Baby

A very strange thing has happened to me over the past 2 years. I think it happened to me when one day I was speaking with my dad. He told me that when he pulled his pants on that morning, he discovered that he had inadvertently caught a toenail on them and had PULLED IT OFF. He didn't know it until he started to put socks on. That's when he made the discovery. You see, my dad had advancing diabetes. His feet were numb. He didn't feel his toenail being pulled from his foot. I suppose that could come in handy if he were captured and they tried to torture him by shoving bamboo shoots up his toenails.

That I decided that day that that was that is all that. I decided I would never tell my son that I had inadvertently pulled anything off my body which should have been painful but was not. So, I started walking. I actually started walking or riding my bike depending on what was better for me that day. I also decided to reduce the sugar intake in my diet. I'm overweight so I hoped to change that too.

I'm an advocate of acting like you have been diagnosed. For example, my wife wanted to go to the cardiologist because she wondered if she was at risk for heart problems. My view is, yes, if you are worried about a condition you may have, act as if you have been diagnosed with the condition. Does it mean that if you have not been diagnosed with a condition that you are somehow safe from it. Would you only change your behavior AFTER you had the disease? Not logical.

This worked for me. I started exercising every day and avoiding sugar in my diet. Not Nazi-like, but just no sweets, no sugar, nothing known for sugar content. As a result, I eat very little sugar. I know this because one Sunday I was particularly hungry and my friend's wife had dropped off a 'coffee cake' for him for breakfast. He knew that I didn't eat sweets so he offered me some and I ate it. It was DELICIOUS. Soon after, I must have experienced an insulin storm because I got kinda dizzy and light headed. My heart was pounding. It was really funny. I either experienced an insulin-related episode or my friend's wife put some mighty-fine drugs in the batter. Any, it was great. I fell off the wagon for one piece of coffee cake. I won't do that again anytime soon.

Anyway, I said it worked for me because after 1 1/2 years of acting like I had the disease (in this case, diabetes) I decided to take a trip to the doctor and get a physical (a few months ago). Did I mention that during the 1 1/2 years my father died from diabetes. Heinous disease. I think I will write several blogs about my dad when I can stand to do so. The trouble is, I hadn't had a physical in some time and the results of the last one said that I had triglycerides that were through the roof -- 286 to be exact. They say over 200 is a bad number. My blood test revealed the following specifics: cholesterol 126, sugar normal (thank goodness, doc says no chance of diabetes currently), heart rate 60, blood pressure 120 over 76 and by triglycerides were a managable 141. The doctor was surprised because of my size. He congratulated me after he learned why my numbers were so good. He does, however, want me to lose weight. Doesn't everyone?

I remember many years ago when sugar wasn't the enemy to me, I used to make fun of Post Cereals for changing the name of Super Sugar Crisp to Super Golden Crisp. Sugar Smacks got changed as sugar became the forbidden substance. Stuff was just as sweet as ever but somehow changing the name made them more politically correct or socially acceptable. Oh, I can't wait to blog political correctness - another day. I didn't think much of sugar content when I was young so when people would point out my sugar intake I though it was ridiculous. "You know, Jeff, that monster cookie with fudge and ice cream with sprinkles and Sugar Babies wrapped in cotton candy and dipped in carmel really does contain a touch more sugar than the average 8-year-old consumes the entire time he is 8." I now point out my own sugar intake and everyone around me thinks I'm ridiculous. "No thank you, I don't want to eat the giant pie you brought me because I don't eat sugar." "But Jeff, you're enormous, I would think if you controlled your diet as you say you do, you would not automatically qualify for the heavyweight Sumo division." I can't win. I didn't say I stopped eating, I said I stopped eating sugar. And it is working.

So I now need to lose weight. Yikes. I have done this before but never for the amount of time of the sugar ban. I will need to eat less - and eat healthy. I need drugs. My wife is no help. She is supportive, but one time I was on Atkins and I was hating it and within a one-hour period of time she was angry with me for being on Atkins and for going off Atkins. Strange. One thing Atkins did for me is cure, and I mean CURE, my heartburn for years. I suffered chronic heartburn until I went on that diet. I was only on it for about a month but it did a great thing for me tummy-wise. Being off sugar has cured my desire for sweets. Now I just have to find a cure for wanting to eat. That should do it.