Translation Score

My friend and I were talking about credit scores the other day on the way in to the ASU football game. Yes, football has started, we just forgot to tell ASU. That is for another rant.

Credit scores are asymptotic in nature. The more credit you amass, the closer to prefect you get. You can get infinitely close, but can never achieve a perfect score because the very act of inquiring about your score lowers your score. As you gain credit score prefection, you borrow, pay, and never delay. The accepted score range is between 450 and 850. But if you have such a great credit score -- say 840-- you probably don't need to borrow. So, you have a great score which means you don't borrow money and therefore take a score hit because you don't borrow money. Asymtotic or Assninetotic?

My credit score is good. My wife is protective of it to a fault. She is vigilant. She is never late paying bills, always keeps us current, and inquires whenever any event may negatively impact our credit score. If the answer is yes, by the way, heaven help the individual who threatens our credit score. She will snarl and posture and threaten the threatener much like a mother bear protects her young -- which may be some form of assault. Let's ask the attorneys.

Of course, this got me thinking. We as mortals must have a translation score. Stick with me, here, I actually may make some sense. OK, it's doubtful, but here it goes...We, as fallen, sinning mortals, have an imperfect translation score -- where a perfect score of 850 gets you translated. The whole city of Enoc had 850's so when the last guy did his final perfecting deed, the whole city was translated. I'm guessing that event looked something like 8500 bottle rockets going off. Not sure what that would look like? Look at this.

Let's say I wanted to perfect my translation score. I'm feeling pretty righteous but maybe not enough to actually be translated. I try things to elevate my score, but all the while decreasing it for a number of reasons - not the lease of which is the act of trying to elevate it. I submit that the Enocians were able to elevate their scores precisely because they did not know they had a translation score to elevate. 'Checking' the score, if you will, degrades the purity of raising the score. Asymptote. This is why I will never be translated. Regardless of how wholesome and pure I am, I know I have a score, I wonder what the score is, and I am not humble enough to ignore the score and expect that it will elevate on its own. So, no twinkling for me. Bummer.

I'm also glad my whole body gets translated together. I don't think my elbows do much sinning so it would be a little disconcerting if just my elbows were translated leaving my sinning spleen to fend for itself.