I Know Stupid Stuff

There is a virtual traveling trophy (one day we will have a real one when this gets serious) in our office called the KOOK Award. Yes, to the biggest kook. Kook stands for Keeper Of Obscure Knowledge. Every once in a while somebody in the office snaps off a definition of a practice, object, or idea to which everyone else immediately responds, "...BS." The validity of said obscure fact is then validated on the Internet and the person keeping such knowledge is then awarded the KOOK award. This trophy is a badge of both honor and wonder. I will give some examples.

There is a practice known as threading. It is a form of facial hair removal where two pieces of thread are twisted together around a group of hairs on a face and then BITTEN off. This one came out in a conversation in the office and I was actually frightened that this kind of knowledge could be attained, let alone retained.

The funny thing is that there is a great deal of knowledge in my head that I take for granted that is sometimes surprising to my co-workers. I think everyone should know that the Kashmir is a region in India, once the capital, and also a song by Led Zeplin and not to be confused with cashmere the wool or lead whose chemical symbol is Pb. (I learned the chemical symbol in 8th grade chemistry and the way I remembered it is we used to say that Lead Zeplin played a concert at Pacific Beach. Strange remembering strange facts but even stranger knowing how and when you learned them.) Everyone should know that neon is inert. So is Krypton. Used to make Kryptonite...I think.

Keeping obscure knowledge is not a problem for my wife. She used to be the smartest girl I know. Then, is seeped away. I don't know why. I still think she is the smartest KOOK because often she knows that Ben Afleck is no longer dating Jennifer and now dates Paris or Angelina. I can also call her whenever somebody asks a question about a movie such as, "...you know that movie with Cuba Gooding, Jr. and Al Pachino?" to which she replies, "...you mean 'Men of Honor' with Cuba Gooding, Jr. and Robert Deniro?" We're not worthy. Her friends call her 'Google' because she knows so much.

I'm glad she's not in my office or the KOOK Trophy would constantly reside in her office. Virtually.