Newness Colony

You can't spell nudist colony without a healthy colon.

We explore today the very nature of exploring. I was reminded the other day that new is great. In virtually every aspect of life, newness is appealing, exciting, and stimulating. I think everyone knows this. In every industry I can think of newness is the key to success. Certainly in the computer industry, newer, bigger, better, faster is better. But even in software, using a new application is great. Using a old application that has been revised and upgraded to have new features is great.

New wife? I think it is possible that affairs start as a result of our pursuit of newness. Have you ever met somebody you think is great, funny, entertaining, and witty - then you meet her husband. He treats her like crap because to him, she is old, used-up, and pruny. Her jokes are re-hashed, hackneyed junk she tries out on anybody who hasn't heard them yet. Her stories? Just as worn. But the new girl? Fresh and alive and charming and delightful with fun stories and a charismatic way of telling them.

Car companies know this all too well. Used cars are new to somebody. And new cars have that smell that feeds the need for newness. My car isn't new. But there is something missing - ah, yes, the Duramax with the Allison transmission. I will pull this trigger soon because I want a new truck. New sometimes pulls a trailer better too.

I have seen people fix up things and make them new again. I tried this with Debi. One hip down, one to go. I did this with my house. One hip down and one to go. Ba dum, ch! I’ll be here all night. Try the veal. It is like living in a new house that is really familiar. I can't describe it but I somehow really LOVE it because it is new. Remodels are a good way to make something old, new again. I have seen people jack their cars up, put new tires on, and put on a fuzzy steering wheel cover to bend the newness curve up again.

Then there's old that is so old it becomes new again. Classic cars are always a sight on the road. We look at them and remember the good old days when things were made better. Back then when you got in an accident in your steel-on-steel Chevy you just hosed off the dashboard and kept on driving it. It is only after you pass the classic Rambler that you realize that it is 115 degrees outside and he had his windows down because he had no air conditioning. Oh, and push button transmission and crappy shocks. And the whole thing could catch fire at any moment. Thank goodness I don’t like old cars.

Sometimes, just to keep things new, I avoid asking my wife for sex - just to change things up a bit. Keeps the relationship alive...