Gel-ous

I thought our naturally occurring deposits of gel and hairspray were depleted in the '80s. I think the Flock of Seaguls band single-handedly consumed the majority of it and in large part caused the shortage. Yet somehow we have managed to find more. We must have found an alternative source as I see more and more gel products. Gel is now found in everything from hair to shoes to cell-phone cozies. My daughters have 'Gel-ies' which I pronounce and write 'Jellies' that somehow passes as footwear. Arch support not withstanding, (or not considered) I think the artificial substitute for the good ol' gel we used to know from our childhood will never return. The new-fangled gel is much less viscus, and much more 'sticky-plastic' like. Do you know how many polymers it takes to make just one little Winnie-the-Pooh breakfast spoon rider?

What's next? Three-piece gel suits with matching vest and fob pockets? Day-glow gel weapons that slap and tear. Can't imagine gel ammo but it may be next. I love the thought of a beanbag gun, but a gel-firing pump-action sawed-off shotgun just seems wimpy. The sticky, stretchy gel that acts like snot can be used as a weapon I suppose - like the frog toy with gel tongue that you swing and it sticks to the wall. Handy in an alley fight. With nun-chuck-like percision (which isn't very precise for most of us) we could wield the Frog-tongue Fighter. Oh, wouldn't the ladies swoon as you whip that thing out to defend their honor.

I get that gel is fun. I concede that gel in hair is often necessary. I count on gel for a comfortable ride on my bike and a comfortable fall for my cell phone. I just think the all-too-broad definition of 'gel' is what I have a problem with. In the name of simplicity we have relegated anything remotely resembling (and sometimes not at all resembling) jello to being called gel. It has been deemed the dominant substance of the 21st century by byteblog.blogspot.com - and if it is on the Internet, it MUST be true...