Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Animeasurement

My friend calls the non-metric system (Standard System or American System) "stupid" - as in, "that's 45 degrees Celsius, or 113 stupid." I agree, though I would argue that living for a prolonged period in 45 degree heat is stupid. Immersion in the metric system is the answer. Everyone would be confused for a few weeks and then we would all get over it. Hey, I'm ready to sign up for 25 cm.

And why is it we adopted middle-endian form (MM/DD/YYYY) for date display? My preference would be big endian form (YYYY/MM/DD) because sorting would be easier but most other countries use little-endian form (DD/MM/YYYY) - a shortened version of "The 17th of August, 2010." We should use the Julian Date (2455426) but I'm sure we'd just end up abbreviating it to '26' for today. Seems like a metric day, though.

If we're so resistant to adopting these conventional weights and measures, maybe it is time we created our own - of course based on Disneyland. I propose:

Measurement
Units of distance and measurement: Mickey (span between ears), tram (length of parking lot tram), Matterhorn (length of line around Matterhorn)

Usage: The Packers take possession of the football, first and tram, with two wide-outs and and empty backfield.

Fluid
Units of measure: Thimble, jug, river, lagoon (taken from Pirates of the Caribbean)

Usage: Gas has reached $2.13 per jug and continues to rise - I hope the rivers of oil dumped into the Gulf of Mexico don't impact our prices any more...

Weight
Units of measure: Tarzan, Tink, Pan, Cinder, Baloo, Beast (based on the weight of the costumes of each of these characters)

Usage: The prize-fighters from the welterweight class (13 baloos to 17 baloos) snarled at each other during pre-fight weigh-in Tuesday. They each seem like they are ready to take out their tink of flesh.

The best part of these measurements is that they aren't exact - leaving room for the flexibility and interpretation freedom we expect.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Clever, but the thought of 'not exact' makes me queezy.