Rabid Chipmunk

When I was growing up we were forced to be afraid of dog bites (or rat bites, or bat bites, or bites from a crazed, rabid chipmunk, etc.) because these animals were all known to have rabies. Now, I've not done a study to find out how true this is - mainly because I'm too scared - but it can't be as widespread as we were lead to believe by the neighborhood fraidy-cats (also known by their pseudonym scardey-cats). I wonder if fraidy-cats have rabies too.

What if rabies were carcinogenic? "Well, sir, I have good news and bad news," the doctor would say. "The good news is that the 30 shots in your eyeball (or stomach depending on which neighborhood you grew up in) seems to have cured your rabies. The bad news is that rabies causes cancer in laboratory rats. Shall I pour you up a Chemo-cocktail now or wait for symptoms?"

We were told that the cure for rabies is 30 shots in various parts of the body. Essentially, there isn't a cure as I've come to find out. Rabies is a virus. We can't kill them without killing the host. But as kids we were convinced that 30 shots was the answer. And by the way, why in the world did we believe that? What can they do with 30 shots that they can't do with one REALLY BIG shot? Or, is the elemental mixture of chemicals so delicate as to not be allowed to come in contact with each other outside the host? Why is it OK inside the host? Who knows. Whether it was in the eyeball, in the stomach, or under the fingernails, I was committed to avoiding the treatment for rabies altogether.

Now if I can just cast out the demons associated with a fictitious crab-like creature called a 'Lotus' that lived across the street from my cousin's house in Phoenix I would be fairly well adjusted. Wow, I was really scared of that thing.